Anklets- the tinkling sound of responsibilities

My heart stopped and my world became dark when the nurse said, "Sorry."

My heart didn't beat fast but a chill got down my spine. I stood there staring at the eyes of the nurse totally clueless. I didn't even move an inch, the nurse handed me something which I didn't even bother to care about. My lips were partly open but had no words. "This is all that belonged to her." She said from under her two-layered mask." Don't worry about burning the dead body, we will do so for you. Pay off all the bills on the counter there." She pointed out at the counter and turned her back at me, I stared at her back until she disappeared into one of the rooms. My feet refused to move and I just stood there waiting for the nurse to come back with mom. But she never came. I got hit by a ward boy and he murmured angrily, "Don't stand in the way." He pushed me and rushed with a patient. He was totally covered in blue plastic, just like the nurses and the doctors.

I sat on the nearby bench and looked at mom's anklets, which the nurse just handed me. I shook the anklets and they made a soothing and familiar sound. I have never noticed that I am so used to this sound until now. The anklets are made up of silver and have some small bell-like structures. It is neatly carved in a beautiful design and some green and red stones completed its look. The depressions had some dirt stored in them. The dirt which anklets have picked up from the places mom had gone to. She was so obsessed with anklets. Was? She was? I felt like my heart got twitched really hard by someone. A small word 'was' gave me an unexplainable pain, a pain that made me realize that mom is no more with me. She is no more to hold me tight. She is no more to scold me. She is no more to teach me, walk with me. It felt like a warm protective layer above my head which used to be there for all this while have been completely torn apart.

I totally froze and felt a cold wave from within. How can a small word affect me so much? But isn't it the truth? Mom is no more. She is dead. This pandemic has also snatched my mom, along with those millions of people on this planet. 'But what have I done wrong to deserve this?' I screamed inside and asked myself. No sound came except for the sound of my thumping heart.

"Wait outside! Don't occupy the unnecessary space, we already are in shortage of beds!" I got scolded by a random nurse covered in blue plastic.

I looked at her deep brown eyes and searched for some good news. I searched for a hope that she will pinch me hard and wake me up from this worst nightmare. But she did nothing but continued saying something, my ears went deaf to her words and I just kept staring at her deep brown eyes searching for something which I was also not sure about.

"Don't you listen!" She yelled at me.

I stood up like a dead soul. She left and I moved to the counter. I pulled out Dad's debit card from my pocket. After giving the lady on the counter, the hospital id and patient's details, she typed on her computer and I waited patiently. I saw Lord Ganesha's photo on the wall. He looked happy and smiled at me. "You should be happy, you got the most wonderful people from the Earth to serve you up there. Take care of my aai, baba(mom, dad)" I whispered.

It took a while for the lady so I looked down the window. I saw a state of chaos. I heard nothing but I saw everything. I saw the bitter part of the world, the cruel side of the planet. I saw people pushing one another, each trying their best to get into the hospital to save their loved ones. The hospital gates are blocked with some barricades, and the guards are trying their best to control the crowd.

Should I feel lucky, that I am not among them? That I am not the one who is begging for her life? That I am not among the people who got their loved ones alive with them? That I am not among those who are waiting outside the hospital with a hope alive in their hearts?

But the truth is, I am among those millions of people who lost the gem of their life.

"The total is Rs50,000" I got driven out of my thoughts. I looked at the card and unsure of whether the card contained that much amount or not, I handed it to the lady at the counter. "Sorry, we don't accept cards. You need to pay us in cash" she informed me.

"But I have no cash." I said in a low voice.

"You can withdraw money from the ATM machine." She suggested. She asked a person standing nearby to show me the ATM machine.

"Grrrrrr" I got surprised when I heard the ATM machine counting the cash. I didn't expected that much money in dad's account. As I collected the money a question popped up in the machine" Do you want to show your balance on screen?" I clicked on the"yes" button and saw a balance of Rs.5000 remaining. I heaved a sigh and returned back to the counter. This pandemic has cost me a lot. First dad, then mom, and now this heavy amount.

I handed the cash to the lady at the counter knowing very well that I need that cash more than her.

As I left the hospital losing everything I ever had, a drop of tear finally rolled down my cheeks. I heard people screaming at the guards while some begged them. People were lying all over the place, some with oxygen cylinders while some gasping for air. I heard wails, pains, and people begging for their own life. For the past few months, I have been in their shoes as well, begging for my aai, baba's life. I have seen a lot in these few months and maybe that is the reason why I am not crying, yelling and cursing anyone. I never expected that I am so strong. It felt like I am already prepared for all these. I guess my subconscious mind already knew that I am gonna lose my mom just like dad. All these scenes are not new to me, but the only difference is that a day ago I had my mom alive and today she is also gone. All I now know about is my two siblings waiting for me at the home.

I hailed an auto and headed back home. A home standing without the two most crucial pillars.

I held my head and bend down resting my elbows on my lab. An instant flashback started playing in my mind. This month of April has taught me a lot more than it ever taught me in my 21 years on this earth. It was a normal evening, dad came home as usual from the temple and brought us some fruits. We all ate it with immense pleasure. Out of nowhere the very next day he got a high fever. Mom took care of him but none of us expected it to be covid. Mom tried her best to bring dad's fever down but nothing worked. We didn't even had the slightest doubt that it would be Covid until dad's oxygen level drastically went down a night. Mom rushed him to the hospital but due to the shortage of hospital beds and oxygen cylinders, dad left us the next morning. All of us got traumatized and mom would cry day and night. The shock was so deep that mom was just surviving on water and nothing else. None of the relatives nor the neighbors ever dared to visit us, which traumatized mom even more. I would scold mom to eat but my words only fell on deaf ears. Things started getting more serious when one day mom also started showing the same symptoms as dad. I contacted every nearby hospital possible but they just said one thing " Beds are not available." Finally, after trying a lot I found a private hospital just a day before yesterday and admitted mom there. These two days felt like a month for me when I finally lost her today.

I felt my hands get wet from warm tears. My dad was a priest. He served God all his life, he never did anything wrong to anyone, he always believed in goodness, but in the end, nothing mattered. Every now and then I ask myself 'what have I done to deserve this?' But every time I get no answer.

The auto halted taking me out of my thoughts. I wiped my tears and paid the auto fare. As I walked, I heard anklets making sounds in my pocket. I reached for them and took them out. They shone in the bright sun. "This is all that belonged to her" the nurse's voice echoed in my ears.

These anklets are not just a piece of jewelry now. This pair of anklets carries lots of responsibilities. The responsibilities I was never aware of. The responsibilities that are now all of sudden shifted to my shoulders. I doubt if I will be able to carry out the responsibilities. The lighter the anklets weigh the heavier the responsibilities it carries. I got no choice but to take the responsibilities of those anklets. With no other option I wore them, they are quite loose but I know one day they will fit me.

With each passing step, the anklets would make the sound, a sound that reminds me of my mom. As I reached closer to home my feet started shaking. All of sudden I became weak.' How am I gonna tell my two siblings that we lost both of our parents? How am I gonna make them believe that from today I am their new mom and dad? How am I gonna take care of my brother and sister? How am I gonna put food on their table? Who is going to pay for their education? How am I gonna manage the house with my Rs.2000 salary which I get from giving tuition? How am I???' innumerable questions flooded my mind but none of them had any certain answer. My head became heavy as I stood in front of my house trying to gather the courage it needs to deal with reality. I really want someone to pinch me and slap me hardest for getting this type of nightmare. I want to wake up, but no matter how much I try I could not wake up from this reality. "Didi...." My 5 years old sister came running towards me. "Where is mummy?" She asked as soon as she saw me.

I just looked at her innocent sparkling eyes and said nothing. She is so little, she doesn't deserve to go through the things I went through. I stood there like a dumb, while she searched for mom everywhere.

"Didi tell me where is mom?" She asked again.

Finally, with lots of guts, I spoke "She didn't come."

"Don't lie. I heard the sound of her anklets."

I looked at my feet and then at her. She didn't notice me wearing the anklets. She jumped and tried to reach my height. She pulled my clothes and asked me the same question over and over again.

"DON'T ASK ME UNNECESSARY QUESTIONS!!" I yelled at her, pouring all my frustrations. Her shining eyes slowly became wet, she started crying and went inside.

The next moment my 13 years old brother came from inside and gave me a look. He didn't speak a word neither did I but we both stared at each other. He didn't ask me anything but looked at me waiting for the answer. I can not scold my brother like I did to my sister and shoo him away. I realized I can't escape from this reality. "We lost" I whispered to him as I entered the house with the responsibilities tied around my feet making the tinkling sound.

[AN: Do leave a comment if you like the story ♥️...PS: Do pardon me for the grammatical mistakes 😅]